The dream of every parent is for their kids to become friends with each other. Ensuring this happens is probably one of the biggest challenges you’ll face as a Parent. Siblings bond is one of the most ensuring in a lifetime but it isn’t always smooth. The universal truth is that siblings fight!
There are some times when siblings have conflict with one another. You probably had a couple of fights with your siblings while growing up. Even though parents don’t like this, healthy conflict can help siblings manage emotions and conflict in future.
However, the benefits of positive sibling relationships are more than the benefits of conflict, including support, friendship, and connection. Sibling relationships can increase sympathy, which can in turn foster other prosocial behaviours like helping and sharing.
Here Are 7 Incredible Strategies To Help You Nurture The Sibling Bond Between Your Kids
1.) Foster Teamwork through “Sibling Time”
It’s up to parents to instill a bond and connection between siblings and make them want to spend time together. Creating a special time for siblings gives them the time and space to build a strong bond. You can do this by figuring out a block of time within each week when they can play without interruption or rules. During this time, notice and encourage activities that make every child feel included and important.
You can assign tasks to them to complete together. For example, you can tell them to clean their toys together or ask the younger one to meet the elder to help tie his/her shoe laces. You can also develop and supervise activities they can enjoy together like games. Make sure a friendly atmosphere is maintained, resolve any conflict that arises and redirect play.
You should also encourage them to merge their ideas and create something new together. Doing these helps eliminate competition and helps them team up.
2.) Encourage Siblings to Care for one Another
You should form a habit of asking the elder sibling to take care of his/her younger one. Teach your kids to help and support each other. When one sibling is hurt, encourage the other one(s) to pause their activity and check on him/her.
You should also encourage others to help out their sibling that is busy with a task. Also, teach your kids to recognize each other’s strengths and cheer each other on. Encourage them to read a story together, sing each other a song and give each other hugs before bed. When you do all these, it strengthens their bond. They get the message that their relationship is grounded in unconditional love.
3.) Encourage Gifts
Everyone loves gifts including kids. The good thing here is that kids love and appreciate any gift so it doesn’t have to be expensive. So, encourage siblings to get each other gifts during birthdays and other special occasions and festive periods.
Allow them to figure out what their sibling would like to receive. When they make this a tradition, it makes them feel loved among themselves and strengthens the bond between them.
4.) Resist the “Favourite Child” Temptation
One day, I was driving my kids out and needed to check for something on my phone. So I asked my older son, Adam, to help me check it and the next thing I heard was my younger son complaining. He said I never asked him to help out with anything and preferred Adam always helping me out.
I stopped in my tracks. If he hadn’t said it, I would never have guessed he felt that way. I had to explain that I felt he wouldn’t be able to help because he is younger and when he said he could, I promised to start asking him to help me out with tasks that will allow him to showcase his abilities.
Most parents have a favourite child and no sermon will change that. It is inherent. But you must do your best not to show this favouritism. Doing this will make your children more secure, eliminate competition and hatred and promote bonding.
Favouritism is in many forms. it could be by buying stuff and tolerating one child over the other or like in my case, always asking one for help.
Also, try as much as possible to avoid comparing your kids. Don’t ask George why his result isn’t as good as Hassans’. That will only make George become resentful towards Hassan. Remember, Cain killed Abel because he felt Abel was God’s favourite.
Avoid taking sides, don’t make your kids feel like they are treated differently. When your kids feel equal, you eliminate the chances of enmity and nurture the bond between them. Needless to say, don’t treat your girls different from your boys.
5.) Don’t Interrupt Their Happy Play Time
One of your slogans as a parent should be “Don’t interrupt a Happily Playing Child”. Don’t take their play time for granted, especially when they are playing together.
Instead, support them to keep playing and don’t interrupt them except it is unavoidable.
6.) Establish “NO Violence” Rules
From the onset, make sure you set a no violence tolerance policy. This will eliminate sibling abuse and maltreatment and creates an atmosphere of love.
We can go on and on. The strategies above are not exhaustive. You can add yours or modify these. You know your kids best. The ultimate aim is to nurture the sibling bond between your kids.