Childhood friendships are the strongest but who says you can’t make great friends in your 30s? Making friends in your third decade of life can be very difficult. You probably made some of your best friends in University or Secondary School.
That’s because it is easier to make friends in those kinds of environments. Outside those kind of environments, it feels so much harder. It is believed that the number of friends you make after 25 reduces greatly. It is also common for people to lose many of the friends they made as young adults. This is because, at this stage, your interests and directions change.
In your 30s, you are probably focusing on career and family life. Women are even said to lose their friends at this stage faster than men. This makes it difficult for you to cultivate healthy female relationships in your 30s.
But hey! This doesn’t mean you should give up on making friends in your 30s. it’s true that there are sufficient excuses for you not to make friends. It’s also true that these excuses make it difficult for you to build healthy female relationships at this stage. The cheering news is that it isn’t impossible!
Cultivating healthy relationships in your 30s is essential and requires a huge chunk of time investment. In your 30s, you develop a new level of freedom and self-awareness and so having healthy relationships at this stage is significant.
It is also important for your emotional health.
Last year was very tough for me. I shared all about it on my channel and one thing that helped me greatly was having friends who could listen to me with no judgement, affirm me and pray with me.
Having someone (people) to share feelings with reduces depression and anxiety and creates a sense of belonging.
Also, adult friendships can help to extend your life span significantly according to a Live Science publication. Little wonder why friend-finding apps are on the increase. So you see, cultivating healthy female relationships in your 30s is necessary.
Here’s How You Can Easily Cultivate Healthy Female Relationships In Your 30s
1.) Go out more
If you are really serious about meeting people, you should give your couch and Netflix some break. You need to be more social to find new friends and cultivate healthy relationships. Attend little events like your neighbour’s house warming, try a class or join a group. The more you go out, the more chances you get at meeting people who could become your friends. Up you go!
2.) Create Time and be Confident
Friendship requires time, energy and commitment investment. You need to make plans and ask a lot of questions. Be confident you can find new friends and the right ones.
3.) Reconnect with old friends
Old friends are the easiest to build relationships with. All you need to do is find them and pick the relationship back up. Thanks to social media, this won’t be very difficult. So while you try to make new friends, don’t forget about the old ones.
4.) Compliment Someone
This ice breaker almost always works. People love to hear compliments, even from total strangers. When you give a compliment, you let someone know they have something that you admire. So, don’t hold back the compliment, it can form the basis of a friendship conversation.
5.) Use an app
We live in a world where almost everything is digitalized, including finding friends. Cultivating friendship is like dating, so put your mind to it. Look for apps where you can meet and make friends. Social media platforms like Instagram count too.
6.) Be Open to New Kinds of Friends
You probably made friends that were a lot like you when you were younger. For example, the friends you made at School or met at work. But it’s time for you to diversify your friend group. Stop looking for people just like you! Be friends with the stay-at-home mom but also with the high corporate executive. Your diverse group of friends will serve different purposes. There are some that will give you emotional assistance, others will render financial assistance.
7.) Tap friends of friends
You can connect with your friend’s friend that resides around you. You can also be friends with friends of your old time friends. The friend of your friend is also your friend. So you can utilize this avenue to cultivate healthy relationships.
How do you build the relationships you’ve formed?
1.) It’s a Process. Don’t rush!
Every good thing in life takes time. It takes time to cultivate a healthy relationship. It takes time to meet people and get to know them. Gradually, as time goes on, the relationship will get better and healthier.
2.) Do any thing together
When you have found a new friend, nurturing the friendship is the next thing to do. You can do simple casual activities together just to build up your friendship. Spending quality face to face time is much better than texts or chats. Try out new things together and make out time to have fun. While you do this, respect boundaries.
3.) Talk with Each Other
Communication is necessary to build a healthy relationship. Make out time to talk with each other openly and honestly. Be a good listener, ask questions and share information. No relationship can prosper without proper communication and you can’t be the only one talking. Always listen to understand, not to reply.
4.) Keep your Expectations Low
You’ll easily get disappointed when you expect too much from people. No one can meet all your expectations, so accept your friend the way she is. Some people might not be as invested into becoming friends with you, as you are about becoming friends with them. When you feel a negative vibes, take a step back and protect your peace. You are worth the effort.
5.) Be a Dependable Friend
Trustworthiness is one of the ingredients and in fact the bedrock of a healthy relationship. Your friends have to rely on you and feel comfortable confiding in you because they feel safe with you. This will allow them to be vulnerable and open up to you without having to defensively protect themselves. I can’t emphasize enough how much this has helped at some of my lowest points in life and business.
6.) Manage Conflicts
You can’t rule out the possibility of conflict in a relationship. Most healthy relationships do have conflict but how you manage it matters. You can disagree about something but that doesn’t mean you don’t like each other.
Cool off your emotions before talking, attack the problem not the person and focus on current issues. Avoid making reference to previous issues using the words “always” and “never”. Apologize when you do something wrong and learn to take responsibility for your actions.
7.) Be Yourself
If you are serious about cultivating a healthy relationship, you must remove pretense. Healthy relationships are made of real people. It is much easier and fun to be authentic than to pretend to be something or someone else.
8.) Show Empathy
Don’t laugh at your friend(s) or dismiss their problems. Don’t downplay their problems or seize every opportunity to emphasize how good they have it, and how your problem is much more serious than theirs.
Express empathy.
Give them a hug and reassure them. Be there for them at their darkest moments not just when things are well.
9.) Don’t Guilt Trip Your Friends
Guilt tripping is wrong on so many levels. Life happens. As much as people try, they get busy. If you don’t hear from your friend, call and know how they are doing. Don’t play the ‘so-you’ve-forgotten-about-me-card’. Check up on them every once in a while. If they never check up on you, don’t hold a grudge. It will make your edges stop growing, give you acne and make you fat. Give her a break sis. Adulting is hard.
Needless to say, she might be going through a tough time and your guilt trips will add to the chaos. Be kind
Final Words
Doing these will go a long way to help you cultivate a healthy relationship, even if you are in your 30s or beyond.
Found this helpful? Let me know in the comments and share with your friends!