We are taught to give as soon as we can understand anything.
Through signs, words and acts, the importance of giving is emphasized during holiday seasons like Christmas thanks giving, etc.
We have learned and sometimes bend over backwards in order to give to others and these people may know that they can always count on you to help out..
…which is a good thing right?
The satisfaction we derive from the fact that we put a smile on the faces of those we care about is priceless but what if we are giving too much?
What is over giving is beginning to affect you negatively and you haven’t even noticed yet?
Balance is very important in every sphere life.
especially when it comes to giving.
In order for us not to be caught in the unhealthy cycle of giving, we need to recognise what over giving really is.
Here’s How To Know If You’re Giving Too Much
1.) How does giving really make you feel? Before the praise that comes with it.
2.) Does it make you happy? Did you have to put off something personally important to you to give to another person.
3.) Do you feel compelled to give? The simple way to know that you’re an Over giver is when you are never able to finish your to-do list because things you have to for others have taken more of your time and energy.
You take your self-care less seriously and always feel obligated to help others out even if you have to bend over backwards.
Here’s The Real Reason Why You Are Giving Way Too Much.
There are several reasons why you are giving too much but it ultimately boils down to 4 reasons.
1.) You genuinely care about others and want them to be happy, cared for and feel loved
2.) You feel obligated and even guilty when you don’t help others
3.) You are a perfectionist. You feel that others may not do something as good as it should be so you take on the task of doing everything yourself.
4.) You are a people pleaser.
These 4 primary reasons can often get in the way of healthy giving.
Giving Is Good But Balance Is Best
As the saying goes; you can’t give what you do not have.
While giving is good, finding a balance is great. When you continuously give, and you give, you start to wear out and your well becomes dry.
This forges a sort of resentment and even depression in the long run.
What’s The Way Forward?
1.) Do a little self searching
Carry out a honest review of your giving pattern and see if you need to make some changes.
Weigh your giving.
Are you giving out of satisfaction?
Are you giving more than you really should?
Are you prioritizing your health and wellness through self-care while giving as much as you can or you are going with the wind and not stopping to take a look at how far you are going in the rat race called overgiving!
After your self search, the next step to take is;
2.) Draw out your scale of preference
When you draw out your scale of preference, ensure that your self care routine is even a higher preference.
Understand that it is okay to also be a receiver, make a self care plan,a giving checklist that you can honestly tick and come back to.
Prioritize your own feelings as much as you do others.
Realise that everyone’s emergency is not your emergency.
3.) Set clear boundaries
Know where you draw the line on how much you can comfortably give.
4.) Understand that it is okay and totally normal to say “no” to others.
“No is a complete sentence. You don’t have to explain.
5.) Try to outsource some tasks.
Let go of control to allow yourself have some you time.
6.) Start a journal and write your heart out.
Writing tends to be therapeutic and when you read what you wrote in months going forward, you would see a clear change.
7.) Speak up.
Sometimes, people might want to milk you dry and won’t mind guilt tripping you, as long as they get their way.
Speak up and tell them firmly and respectfully that you feel over used.
Other times, they do it unconsciously. Whatever the case, you have to put your foot down.
8.) Get an accountability buddy or even a therapist.
Letting a trusted friend or partner know you are dealing with unhealthy giving will help them help you.
They’ll easily point out to you when you are straying out of line and ensure you follow through.
Self care is the best care. When you give from a place of contentment and feel like you are appreciated, you give more genuinely and with much more love and thoughtfulness.
Understand that giving too much is bad for you. You are worthy of all the love, gifts, care, attention and time you so graciously give to others.